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Wednesday, February 18, 2004

It's Not About Money, Right? 

I'm on 7x24 pager duty this week, and got buzzed an hour and a half ago ... and now I can't get back to sleep.

My friend, who'd been out of work for some time now, finally got a job offer. I'd been trying to get him hired by my manager, and after being interviewed, my friend was kept waiting. So, he continued to look elsewhere. So he gets this job which is really close to where I live (it would take me 15 minutes to get there instead of an hour like it does to get to where I work), and pays 50% more than my job (doing roughly the same thing). Sure, his job demands a bit of travel (he has no kids), but it doesn't involve 7x24 hour pager duty.

OK, confession time: although I was very happy for my friend, I was ticked off at my company for not hiring him; I think he would have made a great addition to my team. But hey, that's their loss and his gain. But more than that, it brought back feelings I had when I first got started my present job last summer. I'm a bit bummed out that with an extra child to care for, and my wife on sabbatical, I'm underpaid and overworked, working twice as hard for 50% less the pay that I am used to.

But it's not just about the $$$. It's about the time. I no longer have time to read and pursue biblical studies to the depth I once was able to. My shelves display books that are gathering dust. I hardly have time for my family or church. Why Lord, why? Is this what life is all about?

And then the one day you find, ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun
And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in the relative way, but you're older
And shorter of breath and one day closer to death
Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines

"Time" - Pink Floyd

Maybe I'm just cranky 'cause I'm not getting enough sleep, or maybe I'm just a disillusioned old fart ...


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